Only An Excuse

Bundy · 04-06-2008, 17:04 PM

Jonathan Watson & Philip Differ

Guest spot with GORDON STRACHAN

PICTURE OF THE WEEK: YES, YES, he can say what he likes, but we're sure, after he had watched television footage of Scotland's match with the Czech Republic last Friday, George Burley could not have been happy.
From the camera position behind the dugout you could see the shiny, baldy bit on top of the Scotland boss's napper.
Surely he's not feeling follically challenged?

We've been watching the various European Championship 2008 previews on offer and know this, see that Franz Beckenbauer, he speaks almost perfect German, so he does.

See now that Livingston have been taken over by an Italian guy, Angelo Massone, does that mean they will changing their name to Livingst-onee?

Did anyone happen to watch BBC Scotland's The Season in 90 Minutes on Saturday night? We're sure that everyone involved in Scottish football would have enjoyed this show apart from maybe Hibs keeper Yves Makalambay.

So, that's it, Gretna are no more. Have to say we didn't see that one coming.

by Only an Excuse

A journo asks me about Jerko Leko and I says 'I've no head of it, but I'm sure there's an ointment'
AM I feeling happy? Aye... I am. Pleased to have won the SPL championship title? Aye... I'll take that. Have I decided what I'm doing yet? Aye, I have. Will I be telling you? Naw, I wullnae.

To be fair, at this time of year there is always speculation, especially as to who will be getting the Hearts manager's job, between the start of the season and mid-October, when they get the bullet.

But I can tell you, even if I was added to Vladimir Romanov's wish list - which I believe consists of Mark McGhee, Jim Jefferies, Billy Davies, Craig Levein, Avrum Grant, Dave Baikie and, so I'm hearing, just added this week, Bathgate's Scottish Junior Cup winner Willie Hill - I won't be taking the Hearts job, no, so that's that out the way.

There's more to football than me. Like, for example, there are other things, other questions, like: What do I think of Sepp Blatter's proposed quota rule?

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Eh, not a lot, as it happens. As far as I'm aware what he's proposing is against European law and I think, as I say, I THINK European law supercedes what football wants, so I can't see it happening.

Anyway, we've had all this before back in the 1990s, when we had the three foreigners rule, or as we used to call it in Scotland back then, the eight diddies rule.

Transfers? What about them? I've been linked wi' everybody and their granny in the last few days.

Apparently, we, that is Celtic, are interested in some guy who plays for Stuttgart called Arthur Boka and I've never even heard of the guy. Arthur Boka? Mair like dry Boka.

And here, the other day a journalist says to me: So, what about that Jerko Leko?' And I said: I've no idea, but I'm sure there must be an ointment for it'.

Turns out Jerko Leko is a Croatian midfielder who, again, I'm supposed to be interested in signing after Euro 2008, which hasn't even started yet.

And, talking of Euro 2008, I cannae wait. After two weeks without football I'm climbing the walls.

Even so, I couldnae bring myself to watch any of England's games against the USA or Trinidad and Tobago although in my book that is perfectly normal behaviour.

Okay, it's pretty bad that Scotland arenae in it, that's a shame, aye, so it is.

Mind you, after watching them playing the Czechs that's no' such a bad thing. Our lads looked knackered, they really did, but I have to say I was well impressed by Christophe Berra's debut.

The boy came on in the 92nd minute and didn't put a foot wrong the rest of the match.

But, getting back to Euro 2008, OK, Scotland aren't in it, which at least guarantees we can't get gubbed, but that's no' a problem - there are loads of other teams and plenty reasons for Scottish fans to support them.

For example, I can think of reasons why Celtic fans might be supporting Poland, Sweden and Russia - Artur Boruc, Henrik Larsson and Zenit St Petersburg.

I can think of reasons why Rangers fans might support Croatia, Spain and France - Dado Prso, Carlos Cuellar and Paul Le Guen.

I can think of a reason for Caley Thistle fans to support Romania - Marius Niculae. And I can think of a reason for fans of all the other clubs in Scotland to support Turkey - donner kebabs.

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Jeer we go for Kenny
SURELY there must be one Rangers fan out there who thinks Kenny Miller coming back to Ibrox is a good idea?

Thought not. Such is the revulsion, we heard the Loyal Blue Trust Order are organising a Kenny Miller Day at Ibrox so fans can gather and sing anti-Miller chants and songs. A minority of about 20,000 is expected.

To be fair, Kenny's trademark sclaffs and heavy touches' for Scotland against the Czechs did little to allay fans' fears.

But it's not all bad news on the transfer front. Christian Dailly is staying for at least another season and Peter Lovenkrands has issued a come and get me' plea. So exciting times ahead.

On the debit side, Allan McGregor will be heading to Stringfellows - sorry, Spurs. Allegedly.

We've also read with some disbelief that Daniel Cousin remains a target for Fulham, Sunderland, Blackburn Rovers, Stoke and World Wrestling Entertainment, who were so impressed with his head-butting technique they want to pair him with The Undertaker.

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Not so wild about Harry
WE could be wrong, but we reckon that by now just about every Celtic fan will have sobered up following the title win at Tannadice.

But the latest transfer goss could bring out sair heids again. Harry Kewell? What can we say about this occasional striker other than his missus was in Emmer-dale and is a bit of a doll?

Mind you, with Thomas Gravesen now having been chucked by his porn star girlfriend, the Bhoys could do with a bit of showbiz glamour in the stand to distract the fans when the games are rotten. So for that reason alone, Kewell might just be worth the reputed 40 grand a week.

Other names in the frame include Stephen Ireland, Zoltan Gera, Kevin MacDonald, Darren Huckerby - no, seriously - Shaun Maloney (naturally), Kyle Lafferty (inevitably), Steven Fletcher (if Celtic can beat off Real Madrid), Jay McEveley (who is Scottish because of his granny), and James Morrison (who is Scottish because Alan Hansen and Lulu do adverts for Morrison's supermarkets.)

Bundy · 12-06-2008, 13:27 PM

KENNY MILLER is definitely, gen up, going to sign this week - unless Walter, Ally and the rest of the coaching staff suddenly realise what the fans already know.

Should Miller be paraded in a Rangers shirt then it could prove to be a busy week for the Blue Trust Order. They'll need to quickly organise a season ticket/jersey burning session outside Ibrox.

However, speculation is already mounting on who his striking partner might be.

Could it really be former Jambo, Andrius Velicka? From memory, the Lithuanian had a reputation as diver. Strangely, those accusations tend to vanish whenever a player joins either half of the Old Firm.

Then again, maybe the man Rangers really want is Burnley's Kyle Lafferty?

The Teds are said to be offering Alan Gow as part of the deal. Wow! That should swing it.

Of course, the other option is that Kenny Miller and Kris Boyd lead the Rangers line - giving the fans two players to moan about instead of just the one.

Bundy · 12-06-2008, 13:28 PM

NEIL LENNON says if Artur Boruc has a good Euro, it might be difficult to keep him. A good reason for fans to hope Poland take more pumpings like the one from their old pals the Germans.

We thought Boruc was a bit of a let-down. Sure, he made one outstanding save, but he just quietly sloped off the park without so much as showing a flag or a T-shirt.

Latest Tic targets include Croat defender Dario The Pitbull Simic - a ball-player, then?; Paraguayan defender Paulo Cesar Da Silva Barrios (Paulo da Silva for short); samba star' keeper Fabio; and, for the third year in a row, Swiss Alexander Frei. Could that be the same Alexander Frei who limped off in tears on Saturday and could be out for six months?

Adam Virgo is heading back to Brighton - what a well spent £1.5m that was - and Lee Naylor is apparently wanted by a host of clubs.

There was some worrying news. No, not that Aiden McGeady may be snapped up by a big, big team like Sunderland, but Thomas Gravesen planning to stay and fight for his place.