Old Firm Thread

[Bundy]

Thats not very nice Haggis, sometimes even those poor sisters don't fancy them

[Haggis]

Them rangers supporting womenfolk cannae get a winch...no with that blue top on and a fag hingin oot the fussog....then there's the union jack tattoo....and the love-hat tattoo (hat because she's lost a finger in a street fight)...and you cannae get in the dancin with rockports, trackies and a flourescent boob tube on, so they have to do the half-two sweep when aw the clubs throw oot...he he!

[Bundy]

Keep The Faith can exclusively reveal that Barry Ferguson, the heroic captain of Rangers, has made a miraculous recovery from career-threatening injury.


Barry, who was forced kicking and screaming to withdraw from the Scotland squad for the midweek friendly against Croatia, because of Peracute International Sickness Hocus-pocus (or P.I.S.H.) was believed to be a major doubt for Saturday’s crucial Huns versus Celtic match.


However, Barry, after a quite miraculous recovery, will indeed be fit and available for Saturday’s SPL match at Snake Mountain.


Furthermore, Keep The Faith can also exclusively reveal that Barry, who has played through the pain barrier since the age of 12, has courageously donated all the organs he can spare to fellow P.I.S.H. sufferers at the Death Star.


Consequently, Allan Mythgregor, Dailly Christian, Brahim Hemdiddy and Lee McMadman will also be fit to face Celtic.


In an astonishing afternoon at the Murray Park Intensive Care Unit, Rangers medical staff were left speechless when Barry Fergushun rose from his hyperbaric chamber, seemingly restored to full health.


And after a post-coma meal of Monster Munch and Tizer, Barry was soon in full vim and vigour and able to bravely assist his fellow P.I.S.H. sufferers by donating assorted organs to the stricken Rangers players.


An Ibrox insider explained: “His Royal Wattieness came into the Intensive Care Unit and, with a booming and masculine voice, said, ‘Right lads, Scotland game’s finished, the minimal media scrutiny is over, Minty’s manipulation worked a treat, so it’s safe to come out now’. And the lads leapt to their feet.”


The insider added: “It was a miracle. Not a dry eye in the house.”


Rangers medical staff were, however, left disappointed that nothing could be done for Kirk Broadfoot.


Barry Fergushun leads the Hunnites out of Murray Park’s Intensive Care Unit.

[Bundy]

An Irish daughter had not been home for over five years.
Upon her return, her father cursed her.

Where have you been all this time? Why did ye not write
to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand
what
ye put yer old mum thru?

The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff... Dad... I
became a prostitute..."

"Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner!
You're a disgrace to this family."

"OK, Dad -- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum
this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a
savings certificate for $5 million."

"For me little brother, this gold Rolex and for ye
daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible
that's
parked outside plus a membership to the country club... (takes a
breath)... and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years' Eve on
board
my new yacht in the Riviera, and..."

"Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says dad.

Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff....a prostitute dad!
Sniff, sniff.

"Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant. Come here and give yer old man a
hug."

[Jimmy]

Now Now ladies, ive been reading your comments over the past couple of days, i decided not to answer and just let the football do the talkin lol, Rangers 1 - Didimen 0 . Yous can now all book yer holidays and look forward to next season

[Bundy]

Once again we go to snake mountain and return empty handed due to the fact that

1.. we can't seem to score even when we're dominating
2.. the referee thought he was at old trafford and was scared to award penalties or book and send off home team players.(thomson, whittaker)
3.. Our manager is incompetent at times

I'm glad i'm not biased .....lol

[Jimmy]

Originally Posted by Bundy

Once again we go to snake mountain and return empty handed due to the fact that

2.. the referee thought he was at old trafford and was scared to award penalties or book and send off home team players.(thomson, whittaker)
l

Ah yeh i thought it had something to do with the old conspiracy theories. Thought you may want to watch again.

[Bundy]

[Jimmy]

Celtic v Rangers tonight at Parkhead, I think its about time Celtic won one, I think it will be a draw.

[Jimmy]

It is about time Celtic won one, what a crackin first goal too, Quellar and Weir being sent off does not help for the rest of the season.