crono

i came across this on a UK forum and laughed at some of the posts, i thought a Channel Island version might be fun so here is mine.

"States declare Bankruptcy"

"Politicians vote for pay cut"

"Overcrowding at local nightclub blamed on bouncers not being able to count"

"Civil unrest when elections proved to be bent"

"Guernsey live headlines with Mika"

clairejohnson

A litre of petrol peaks at £2.

To cut exhaust emission town becomes a no car zone.

Nurses eventually get a pay rise

Jsysco

"Work begins on town park"

"Jersey eye to return for second season"

"GST Scrapped"

Sorry, were these supposedly to be feasible headlines?

Rocker

Large UFO spotted over St Helier by 10,000 people, States blame it on a windsock missing from Jersey Airport

Esplanade plans to double in cost

crono

I think i prefer the funny ones, here another. Feasible or not its doesn't matter lol

Amy

3rd Supermarket Chain moves to the Islands

Haggis

"Walker & Le Seuer admit they got it wrong on GST"

"Justice for HDLG vitims"

"Walker, Bailiff and Attorney General forced to beg HDLG victims for forgiveness in Royal Square."

"Walker quits in disgrace"

"Baillache Brothers sectioned"

"Le Mesurier admits SOJ Police should be independent of Government control"

"SOJ police arrest Le Mesurier for being a 1st class pillock"

"True average earnings released"

"Treasury get it's sums right for once"

"Dodgy 1.1k's driven to airport and told to eff-off"

"Housing instigate measures to stop the rise in house prices - 3 estate agents commit hari-kari!"

"Finger in pie States members booted out in election revolt!"

"Jersey praised internationally for seeing sense and shafting Walker and his cronies"

"JEP stop brown-nosing"


We can only but dream, Eh?

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Jsysco

"4x4 Vehicles banned from driving ON road"

"New technology allows miniature furniture that actually fits inside newly built town flats"

"Hedley Le Maistre headlines Jersey Live 2009 - 90% of ticket price goes to extra policing"

"As fuel prices hit ever increasing record levels, some Jersey residents look to cows for transport" ... "Transport and Technical Services minister insists on schemes to turn Minden Place car park into cattle shed"

"Ferry fares to the UK rise above those of Virgin's space tourism flights to the upper atmosphere"

I'm not sure that last one would surprise me....

Jodie

hehe

To cut ongoing costs states members decide to merge the Battle Of Flowers and the Air display

Haggis

ha ha quality....

"and todays synchronised fly-by is performed be the red arrows and the st clement secret garden float!"

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