Who said Scots Romance is dead!

Jimmy · 01-07-2008, 08:45 AM

I wouldn't usually post things like this but some of these are funny.

Taken from a Scottish lonely hearts page

Grossly overweight Buckie turf-cutter, 42 years old and 23 stone, Gemini,
seeks nimble sexpot, preferably South American, for tango sessions,
candlelit dinners and humid nights of screaming passion. Must have own car
and be willing to travel. Box 09/08

Aberdeen man, 50, in desperate need of a ride. Anything considered. Box06/03

Heavy drinker, 35, Glasgow area, seeks gorgeous sex addict interested in
pints, fags, Celtic football club and starting scraps on Sauchiehall Street
at three in the morning. Box 73/82.

Bitter, disillusioned Dundonian lately rejected by long-time fiancée seeks
decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a thing still exists in this cruel
world of hatchet-faced bitches. Box /41

Ginger-haired Paisley troublemaker, gets slit-eyed and shirty after a few
scoops, seeks attractive, wealthy lady for bail purposes, maybe more Box
84/87

Artistic Edinburgh woman, 53, petite, loves rainy walks on the beach,
writing poetry, unusual sea-shells and interesting brown rice dishes, seeks
mystic dreamer for companionship, back rubs and more as we bounce along like
little tumbling clouds on life's beautiful crazy journey. Strong stomach
essential Box 12/32

Chartered accountant, 42, seeks female for marriage. Duties will include
cooking, light cleaning and accompanying me to office social functions.
References required. No timewasters. Box 3/45

Bad-tempered, foul-mouthed old ******* living in a damp cottage in the arse
end of Orkney seeks attractive 21-year old blonde lady with big chest. Box
40/27

Devil-worshiper, Stirling area, seeks like-minded lady for wining and
dining, good conversation, dancing, romantic walks and slaughtering dogs in
cemeteries at midnight under the flinty light of a pale moon. Box 52/07

Attractive brunette, Maryhill area, winner of Miss Wrangler competition at
Frampton's Nightclub, Maryhill, in September 1978, seeks nostalgic man who's
not afraid to cry, for long nights spent comfort-drinking and listening to
old Abba records. Please, Please! Box 30/41

Govan man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks alibi for the
night of February 27 between 8pm and 11.30pm

dannyt · 01-07-2008, 06:16 PM

Hahaha i think we should keep this going, so here goes.

40 year old Jersey Mauvee seeking kind good looking woman for slavery

Duties will include getting me up for work in the morning, light cleaning , ironing, cooking etc

Munters need not apply

Fritz · 01-07-2008, 08:09 PM

Jerseyman 35, seeks woman:
Non sibling preferred, but not essential.

Haggis · 01-07-2008, 08:30 PM

Voluptuos, loyal Thai lady, GSOH:
Seeks walking bank account/Mug.

JSY · 02-07-2008, 11:20 AM

'Mature Jersey gentleman, 62, aged well, noble grey looks, fit and active, sound mind and unfazed by the fickle demands of modern society seeks...damn it, I have to pee again

Haggis · 02-07-2008, 01:02 PM

Jersey IT whizz kid:
seeks, VERY...trusting girl with pc & webcam for photo sharing "opportunities"..

Must have Powerpoint, adobe etc. installed...