Keep The Faith can exclusively reveal that Barry Ferguson, the heroic captain of Rangers, has made a miraculous recovery from career-threatening injury.
Barry, who was forced kicking and screaming to withdraw from the Scotland squad for the midweek friendly against Croatia, because of Peracute International Sickness Hocus-pocus (or P.I.S.H.) was believed to be a major doubt for Saturday’s crucial Huns versus Celtic match.
However, Barry, after a quite miraculous recovery, will indeed be fit and available for Saturday’s SPL match at Snake Mountain.
Furthermore, Keep The Faith can also exclusively reveal that Barry, who has played through the pain barrier since the age of 12, has courageously donated all the organs he can spare to fellow P.I.S.H. sufferers at the Death Star.
Consequently, Allan Mythgregor, Dailly Christian, Brahim Hemdiddy and Lee McMadman will also be fit to face Celtic.
In an astonishing afternoon at the Murray Park Intensive Care Unit, Rangers medical staff were left speechless when Barry Fergushun rose from his hyperbaric chamber, seemingly restored to full health.
And after a post-coma meal of Monster Munch and Tizer, Barry was soon in full vim and vigour and able to bravely assist his fellow P.I.S.H. sufferers by donating assorted organs to the stricken Rangers players.
An Ibrox insider explained: “His Royal Wattieness came into the Intensive Care Unit and, with a booming and masculine voice, said, ‘Right lads, Scotland game’s finished, the minimal media scrutiny is over, Minty’s manipulation worked a treat, so it’s safe to come out now’. And the lads leapt to their feet.”
The insider added: “It was a miracle. Not a dry eye in the house.”
Rangers medical staff were, however, left disappointed that nothing could be done for Kirk Broadfoot.
Barry Fergushun leads the Hunnites out of Murray Park’s Intensive Care Unit.
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THE SHIRT DOESN'T SHRINK TO FIT INFERIOR PLAYERS
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